Effective Empathy At Work

"The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy" - Meryl Streep

Many confuse empathy with sympathy, thinking only the spelling is different. There is relationship between this two, however. Empathy allows one to sympathise. Without empathy there is no sympathy.

Simplest way of describing empathy would be, "to step in someone else's shoe". This is essential in employee relationship in any context. In essence, your skills aren’t complete, if you don't have people skills in which empathy is essential.

Here's a common definition for empathy and sympathy:

Sympathy: the act of imagining and interpreting the thoughts, experiences, and perspectives of others from our own lens (e.g. our history, experiences, priorities and values).

Empathy: the act of attempting to understand the thoughts, experiences, and perspectives of others from their own lens (e.g. their history, experiences, priorities and values).

Although subtle, the difference in effect between empathy and sympathy is significant

Other's Point of View
The more you try to understand your colleague, the more harmonious the relationship will be. All you need is to try and see things from the other person's point of view.

By doing that, you will understand the other person's intent, motivation and might even find their words and actions are justified from their point of view. If you think, "I would have done (or said) the same thing," you have understood the person and situation well.

You may not be always right
Step back and examine what you have said or done. It may have adverse effect to your colleagues. If so, why? Why not seek them to frankly give their point of view? Viewpoints tend to clash, it happens all the way to the number one authority in the country. One's ability to know the facts and situation behind the viewpoint forms the backbone of empathising.

The keywords are "listen, listen and listen"
Here you need a little bit more than your average listening skill. First, you need the patience to listen to the entire message your colleague us trying to communicate. While you are at it, watch him or her and observe the body language and the tone of the voice. Chances are, the person is only skimming the surface, and there might be more. If so, ask nicely and you may even get more information than you bargain for. Better understanding is established, and complete empathy can be achieved.

While listening, please be attentive. We don't lend a listening ear with a blank face, don't we? Interject politely and ask for clarification. Also, adding "uh-huh" or "I see" occasionally doesn't hurt. That way, the other person knows that you are paying attention.

(Avoid commenting if possible, unless you are requested. This might be judgemental and lead to gossiping and creation of new chapter in office politics!)

Behaviours to avoid.
There are some forms of behaviours that will kill the potential empathiser in you. Worst of all is narcissism and opportunism. Equally damaging is the tendency to rationalise that end justifies the means.

Other common feature like aggressive, unsanctioned competition between employees and department should also be avoided. This is definitely a "lose-lose" situation. Other notable no-no includes blaming others for consequences that you have created. Sounds familiar? Then, stay away from it.

Empathy sells
In short, with empathy, you promote openness in relationship and help encourage others to share their ideas more willingly. This facilitates working relationships that produce creative solutions. It also eliminates misunderstanding, communication errors and confusion.

And if you are in customer service segment, empathising easily improve your ability to better serve your customers.

(Source: jobsdb malaysia)